Red State Blue State

Towards a Truly World Series

When the NHL switched it's All-Star game format in the late 90's from the typical conference vs. conference match-up to a North America vs. The World battle royale, it seemed to herald the dawn of a new, global style of sport. Of course there are the Olympics and the World Cup but if sports like hockey were going to take on an internationalist bent, it was only a matter of time before the whole world came on-board.

Five years later the game reverted back to it's traditional format and globalism had lost a bit of its luster but the overall move towards a more universal sporting life continued to pick up steam.

Just take a look around the major American sports. The NBA is still dominated by Americans but Europeans, South Americans and even the Chinese have become stars in their own right. The NFL is probably the only league that can still claim to be nearly 100% American but that probably owes much to the fact that the rest of the world is more than happy with their own version of football.

Even the most traditionally American of sports has taken on a greater international context in the past decade with the creation of the World Baseball Classic. And MLB has no plans to stop there. Just this past week it was reported that Bud Selig has been in discussions with his Japanese counterpart for a match-up between the two countries' respective champions. Maybe it's only two countries at this point but there's no doubt that baseball will follow soccer's lead and institutes some sort of World Club Championships pitting the best club teams from around the world against each other.

It makes sense. There seems to be no end to what consumers are willing to suck up and with all the money to be made from the merchandising, not to mention the actual playing of these games, the different national leagues would be foolish not to join in. Bud Selig will do anything at this point to have his legacy be something other than the steroid era and this would definitely be one way to do that.

Lost in all this is the fact that despite its near collapse a few seasons ago, the NHL may have had it right after all. You can fight globalization and maybe you'll win some battles. But the war has already been won and it's here to stay. Baseball appears ready to embrace that.

-A

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Oslo

I had the opportunity today to read through President Obama's address at the Nobel ceremony. Imagining the words being spoken in his particularly cool baritone, I enjoyed the ebb and flow of the sentences as they entwined themselves together, growing into ever larger and more noble thoughts. And then I stopped cold. It hit me square between the eyes. Barack Obama is to politics what the New York Yankees are to baseball.

See, with the Yankees it's not so much that they spend billions of dollars to buy the best players. It's that they take the best players away from rival teams so they can't be hurt by them. CC Sabathia has their number as a member of the Indians staff. So, give him a year in the NL and then snap him up. Problem solved. Curtis Granderson was part of the Tigers squad that knocked the Yankees out in the first round of the 2006 playoffs. Bring him on board, stick him in center field and he won't be knocking you out again. The list goes on and on, all the way back to Babe Ruth himself.

So how is this like the President? Simple. Look at the speech. At a time when Republicans sense blood in the water and start to churn in anticipation of the kill, he co-opts one of their key arguments and makes it his own. How bold was this move? Well, consider that this was the ceremony for the Nobel Peace Prize and then consider that he said this:

To say that force may sometimes be necessary is not a call to cynicism -- it is a recognition of history; the imperfections of man and the limits of reason.

That's more than bold. That's straight up brass cojones.

Don't take this argument the wrong way. I still have no love for the Yankees. But I can appreciate them for the same reason I can appreciate the President. Because they're stone-cold killers. And that's saying something when you've just accepted the Nobel Peace Prize.

-A

The Filibuster

Who is more despised by the RSBS guys?  Yankees or Cubs.  I haven't figured it out yet. 

Brad T.
Springfield, IL
____________________________________

Maybe I'll begin by asking a question of my own. Who was a more insignificant president, Benjamin Harrison or Millard Fillmore? Or perhaps it makes more sense to ask something slightly different, like, who was a more brutal dictator, Stalin or Mao? The point I'm trying to make here, Brad, is that there isn't necessarily an answer to your question. Wanting to know who is more despised, the Yankees or the Cubs, is like asking what does Indiana Jones hate more, bugs or snakes.

When it comes down to it, the Yankees and Cubs aren't all that different. They have both been spending money like a hobo in a liquor store, dropping every last penny on whatever rot-gut might make them warm for a second. Milton Bradley is just a poor man's Jason Giambi once you leave Bradley's temper and Giambi's juice out of it. And up until this season, the results were pretty much the same. Make the playoffs, head to the playoffs, crash out of the playoffs.

The equation shifted a bit this year, though. Now, it's safer to say that the Yankees are Stalin to the Cubs' Hitler. It was all going so well for the Cubs until it all fell apart. And the Yankees may have almost driven their base over the edge with the profligate spending and tax-payer financed multi-billion dollar ballpark but, like Stalin, nothing brings the masses back in line quite like victory.

All that being said, I still don't know as though I can say that one of those two teams is more despised here at RSBS than the other. I can say, though, that after thinking about it a bit more, although Indiana Jones really didn't like bugs, he hated snakes. And the name Steinbrenner sure does have a sibilant sound to it, just like a snake. Coincidence? Probably, but I'm willing to forgo the formalities and declare the Yankees the more despicable.

-A

Whoop-Dee-Doo!

Gary Sheffield: The Original Milton Bradley

Before there was Milton, there was Gary.  Yes folks, Gary was whining and crying and kicking the dirt and picking fights and pissing off fans and management and teammates and saying stupid things long before Bradley.  And now, as if shown up by woe-is-me Milton, Gary has announced he'd like to come back and play in 2010.  So even if Milton is teamless next year, we can still count on Sheff to aggravate the baseball cosmos... if any team is willing to take him that is.

Twitter Babes?
Besides using it to piss off professional baseball players, I have found Twitter to be an excellent tool for networking and socializing with like-minded baseball nerds.  Of course, Allen and I get our fair share of spammer tweets, but I had never seen anything like this before:

A direct message from new RSBS follower @carol_laurent (from Chicago - where I live) saying:

"I LOVE GREEN APPLES!"

My response?

"I LOVE GREEN APPLES TOO!"

Of course, this is not a real person.  It can't be.  Looking at her (his? Its?) page you'll see it's just a long string of random non sequiturs.  But boy was I duped!  Without a gibberish username, grainy profile pic and messages like "please visit my nude profile", I guess I got *ahem* quick handed.

Where the Hell is Allen?
In case dear readers are wondering, my loquacious and oft incoherent colleague is still very much alive.  He'll be back.  Soon.  He's sorta recovering at the moment.  You see, he had an issue... an issue with his... esophagus.  They even made a movie about it:



Itchy portrayed me with excellence I must say.

Hate me 'cuz I'm cruel, just don't hate me 'cuz I'm right.

Peace,

Jeff

What in the Milton Bradley is Wrong with Milton Bradley?

In a word? 

Everything.

And so it goes that the world's de facto millionaire man-child, Milton Bradley, sees his season end prematurely -- stopped cold by the Chicago Cubs' general manager Jim Hendry.  Or so we are led to think...

After the tumultuous inaugural season Bradley had with the eternally ill-fated Cubbies, isn't it possible that Milton simply quit on his own and Hendry & Co. were left to cover up what would otherwise be the Major League scandal of the year?  At this point, I am willing to believe anything; which is why we put our loyal interns to the test -- to uncover the hidden meaning in Hendry's public statement, to discover what's really going on, to report the Truth.

Dear readers, here are the results -- the top ten reasons why Milton Bradley's season came to an abrupt and early end:

10.  Wanted to give lifetime minor leaguer Bobby Scales a shot at breaking the .250 mark

9.  There is only room for ONE colossal fail per team and Alfonso Soriano has a pretty good beat on it

8.  Admitted to being an avid reader of the Chicago Sun-Times

7.  Suffering from an acute torn mental labrum

6.  Decided to dedicate more time to establishing universal health care

5.  With the NFL season under way, wanted to pass the "Chicago Public Relations Disaster" moniker on to a more accomplished, more deserving, more disappointing (and prettier?) candidate in Jay Cutler

4.  Made secret promise to self that if he succeeded in beating Jacque Jones as the most hated right fielder in the history of the Chicago Cubs he would pack up and go home, satisfied, with $10 million more in his wallet

3.  Worried his name might leak as Candidate Number 3 in Rod Blagojevich's pay-to-play federal investigation

2.  Adamant about having the Ricketts Family rename his team: The Chicago Uncle Toms

And the number one reason why Milton Bradley's season came to an abrupt and early end:

1.  He's just... a whiny... little... bee-otch

Don't hate me 'cuz I'm right.

Peace,

Jeff

Quick! Give Him the Key to the City!

Would someone please explain to me how MLB.com (in all its ballsy-get-outta-my-way glory) has no problem calling Washington Nationals' first round draft pick, Stephen Strasburg, a "future ace" before he has ever put on a Big League uniform?  I speak Chinese.  I speak it really well.  That does not make me the "future ace" of Sino-US diplomacy.

Or does it?

Now that I have suffered through Bud Selig mispronouncing Cincinnati as "Cincin-nattuh", Harold Reynolds beating the meaning out of the word "signability" and the absence of MLB Tonight (perhaps the most entertaining baseball program on the planet due to its painstaking efforts to suck in the ADD crowd), I think I have a solution to all this draft hoopla.

Listen up, Washington Nationals.  Quickly, throw all the money you have at Strasburg, give him a private jet, a harem fit for a politician and whatever else he could possibly need, then let that boy prove himself at the Major League level.  Right now. 

The current state of the Nationals is, at best, barrenly bleak: their pitching staff is five Shairon Martis wins above absolutely atrocious, their defense makes Alfonso Soriano look like a diamond wheel gold-glover, Adam Dunn can't get a properly fitted jersey to save his spare tire, the jerseys they do have are highly susceptible to the occasional spelling blunder (*ahem*, make that, blunders, plural), they suffer from an extreme identity crisis (are we the Nationals/Expos/Senators/Twins/Rangers/the other Senators?), enlist low-brow stomach-churning marketing, are exposed by their inability to properly discharge sausages into the stands, still employ Kip Wells and now they can't even shoot off fireworks without dumping debris on their own city fire chief (thanks for the tip, Matt).

What the hell could it hurt to put Strasburg in the rotation? 

Throw him into the D.C. fire already.  Let's see if this kid is indeed a "future ace", an ace, a back-end starter or a just a plain old joke like the rest of the Washington Nationals.

Do it, do it quickly and do it now.  Just don't hate me 'cuz I'm right.

Peace,

Jeff

Identity Crisis

Listen up, Major League Baseball.  I love you.  I really do; and sometimes being in love means having to bring you back down to earth, to be horribly blunt and to shower you with lots of smack (the slang, not the drug, though sometimes the drug seems like a better option in extreme cases, like when you overflow my inbox with crap I don't want and never asked for).

MLB, you are not the NFL.  You are not the NBA.  You are MLB.

So while I commend you for trying to drum up interest in something -- the first year player draft -- that is, on the surface, boring and otherwise three to four years removed (if that) from the current game, I must ask you to please snap out of it! 

For the record, I do not care about the NFL and NBA drafts either, but I can certainly see why people do.  If you are a basketball and/or football fan, you have seen the potential draftees come up through the highly competitive elite forces of the NCAA.  Bowl games are slammed down your throat.  March Madness is so mad that it doesn't end until April.  You know the players.  You've seen their talents.  You hope your pro team gets a shot at their services.

In contrast, the potential baseball draftees are as familiar to us fans as is a logical, amicable, non-infuriating Ann Coulter.  In the NFL and NBA, if you get drafted, your chances of seeing playing time at the top are almost a given, while most of the guys drafted in the MLB draft will never put on a big league uniform.  Sure, your Griffeys, A-Rods and Verlanders -- guys who go in the first round or two -- will most likely make it; but the majority of the rest will wallow away in the minor leagues, battle disillusionment, come to grips with not being good enough and before you know it they're faxing TPS reports behind a desk while reading RSBS for giggles.

So as MLB pats itself on its self-aggrandizing back about televising this overblown shindig so they can sell lots of advertising to companies gullible enough to think that it will actually rival that of its football and basketball brethren, you can be sure that I will be spending my time wisely.  Dear readers, I advise you to do the same; and just in case you can't think of anything better to do, here are some suggestions:

• Remember, question and lament the hype of Pete Incaviglia
• Write hate-mail to Rush Limbaugh and sign it "Jesus"
• Clone Chris Carpenter
• Come up with clever gimmicks to sell your new religion start-up (worked for me!)
• Or, God forbid, watch an actual Major League Baseball game with real-life Major Leaguers

Indeed, that is but a short list of things I will be doing instead of watching your draft, MLB.  I will not be listening to Harold Reynolds start every sentence with "Now, here's a guy..." nor will I sing praises of your precious college phenom Stephen Strasburg when he is -- as you already told me he would be -- drafted in the first round.  I'll wait until he collects the league minimum $400K for that.

I know a poser when I see one and it is because I love you, MLB, that I have to call you one to your face.  Go ahead and hate me 'cuz I'm critical of your identity crisis, just don't hate me 'cuz I'm right.

Peace,

Jeff